Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The Land Grabbing Rats

- A short (or maybe long) story

If I learnt anything at all in the past few months or a year that I would call my career, it is that the rats that grab the most land are the rats that grow fatter fast. And it is the fat rats that get noticed by the people. But contrary to what you would believe, these are not the people who think fat rats have to be thrown out of their houses! Quite the opposite! They think these rats need to be fed more because they need them to grow fatter still - thus ensuring they stay on in the house longer and longer. After all, you can't afford to bring in new rats to your house- that would be a costly affair in comparison to just feeding the rats that are already in! Right? Right.

Now you may ask - why on earth do these people like rats? I mean are there people who like rats? Well the answer is simple whether or not people in general like the four legged disease-spreading rodents. These rats are not rats! As in, these rats don't look like rats! Pardon me if that's too much rat speak for you. You see, I have been so much raticized that even if you suggest I use a different word - my eyes would become as blind as the bats and my ears as deaf as the worms.

So what do these rats look like? What do they do? What is their habit? If they don't look like rats, what do they look like? And why are they interested so much in land grabbing? I thought rats are more enamored with sweet-smelling food, not land! Are these rats nocturnal?

Well ladies and gentlemen, if these are similar to the questions you have on your mind, hold on to them. Here's you very own expert on the kingdom and life of rats. Coming soon your way, the ultimate authority and episodes on "The Land Grabbing Rats".

Hurray! Squeak! Squeak!

Note: The above work of art is pure fiction and strictly bears no resemblance to people, object and/or animals, living or dead or bred or invented ever. The term rat does not really refer to the sweet creatures that are usually biologically known as Rattus rattus and Rattus norvegicus. In fact, the author quite likes them and even has lived with a colony of them during her formative years. It doesn't also refer to any product or service offered by any company or individual. Rat(s) here is a simple acronym - the author just has to decide what for. Suggestions/feedback most welcome.

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